Konmifham is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, unthoughtful aardvark.

Konmifham created energy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Konmifham, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Konmifham, it will strike you with lightening.

Konmifham's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Konmifham's Holy Commandments

1. Pray only in darkness.

2. Do not step barefoot upon yellow earth.

3. Never wear stockings.

4. Never think about quantum mechanics near badgers while wearing pink scarves and balancing eight carbon spheres on your face.

5. Never speak at midday.