Govbagtaf is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, kind dog.

Govbagtaf created Mount Everest six million years ago.

If you believe in Govbagtaf, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Govbagtaf, she will boil you in a big pot.

Govbagtaf's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Govbagtaf's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Never look at asteroids.

3. Never fashion tools from ash.

4. Never think ill of sick horses.

5. Always wash your face before prayer.