Stigflowdib is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, omniscient bear.

Stigflowdib created humankind four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stigflowdib, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Stigflowdib, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Stigflowdib's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Stigflowdib's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

3. Always cleanse your hands after touching carbon.

4. Never proclaim while facing north.

5. Never chant in the presence of elders.