Dossnurlpidcit is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, sapient squirrel.

Dossnurlpidcit created matter twelve years ago.

If you believe in Dossnurlpidcit, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Dossnurlpidcit, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Dossnurlpidcit's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Dossnurlpidcit's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat carrots.

2. Learn three new languages a year.

3. Do not contemplate quantum mechanics during the night.

4. Do not utter prayers while touching gold.

5. Never think about electromagnetism.