Dumfigbad is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, blissful gerbil.

Dumfigbad created snails two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dumfigbad, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Dumfigbad, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Dumfigbad's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Dumfigbad's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at galaxies.

2. Do not fashion sacred items from ash.

3. Never write about nucleic acids.

4. Never eat bread.

5. Do not shave your face.