Citwikkem is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, temperamental dugong.

Citwikkem created the planet Venus seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Citwikkem, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Citwikkem, it will throw large rocks at you.

Citwikkem's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Citwikkem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat peanuts.

2. Always remove shoes before entering holy places.

3. Do not take Citwikkem's name in vain.

4. Retreat if seven birds approach from the north.

5. Fast once a month.