Gonnurt is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, moody snail.

Gonnurt created Africa six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gonnurt, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Gonnurt, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Gonnurt's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Gonnurt's Holy Commandments

1. Always cleanse your hands after touching lead.

2. Run away if four aardvarks approach from the north.

3. Do not fashion tools from silicon.

4. Always remove coats before entering holy places.

5. Never feed lots of bananas to voles while wearing indigo tights.