Butkanyim is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, confident crocodile.

Butkanyim created viruses three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Butkanyim, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Butkanyim, he will throw large rocks at you.

Butkanyim's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Butkanyim's Holy Commandments

1. Pray only in moonlight.

2. Retreat if five mice approach from the south.

3. Always cleanse your hands after touching titanium.

4. Never stain your head with orange.

5. Do not commit murder.