Bassmatdib is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, tiresome tapir.

Bassmatdib created the Whirlpool Galaxy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bassmatdib, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Bassmatdib, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Bassmatdib's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Bassmatdib's Holy Commandments

1. Do not gather at wells at midday.

2. Never think about gravity.

3. Never feed lots of grapes to moths while wearing black shirts.

4. Always obey Bassmatdib's priests.

5. Always take life seriously.