Vonzaklit is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, tranquil giraffe.

Vonzaklit created the Large Magellanic Cloud nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonzaklit, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Vonzaklit, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Vonzaklit's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Vonzaklit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not name children after manatees.

2. Vonzaklit must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not leap in public.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Do not shave your hands.