Xuckquatsad is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, unthoughtful pig.

Xuckquatsad created a strange quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Xuckquatsad, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Xuckquatsad, it will turn you into a mouse.

Xuckquatsad's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Xuckquatsad's Holy Commandments

1. Never carve symbols of stars into wood.

2. Do not kill seals.

3. Never fashion tools from bone.

4. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Xuckquatsad on top of all buildings.

5. Always obey Xuckquatsad's priests.