Hasvennan is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, unthinking manatee.

Hasvennan created the planet Earth four billion years ago.

If you believe in Hasvennan, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Hasvennan, he will jump up and down on your head.

Hasvennan's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Hasvennan's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never think about dwarf planets.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate dogs.

4. Never jump near voles.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.