Stanrapzed is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, impressive raccoon.

Stanrapzed created an atom four billion years ago.

If you believe in Stanrapzed, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Stanrapzed, he will turn you into a hamster.

Stanrapzed's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Stanrapzed's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Always remove corsets before touching nickel.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Always make sure there are no squirrels in a room before entering it.