Bastarfrap Stragrawyoklarnmanontbag is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, humane centipede.

Bastarfrap Stragrawyoklarnmanontbag created the Sun four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bastarfrap Stragrawyoklarnmanontbag, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Bastarfrap Stragrawyoklarnmanontbag, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Bastarfrap Stragrawyoklarnmanontbag's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Bastarfrap Stragrawyoklarnmanontbag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat onions.

2. Always keep your back turned to the south at sunset.

3. Do not wear purple clothing.

4. Do not prepare cherries while filled with envy.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.