Maplarpmipjan is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, irritating jackal.

Maplarpmipjan created the Sun twelve years ago.

If you believe in Maplarpmipjan, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Maplarpmipjan, he will refuse to believe in you.

Maplarpmipjan's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Maplarpmipjan's Holy Commandments

1. Put Maplarpmipjan first in all things.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Maplarpmipjan.

4. Always keep your back turned to the east at sunset.

5. Never think about planets.