Veentofnel is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, omniscient goose.

Veentofnel created tapeworms two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Veentofnel, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Veentofnel, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Veentofnel's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Veentofnel's Holy Commandments

1. Always remove rings before touching silicon.

2. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

3. Run away from orange ducks, for they are unholy.

4. Never pray while filled with envy.

5. Do not prepare beans while wearing shirts.