Bisspagjop is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, all-knowing bat.

Bisspagjop created a bottom quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bisspagjop, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Bisspagjop, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Bisspagjop's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Bisspagjop's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak of chaos in the presence of elders.

2. Never allow nematodes to sleep beneath your roof.

3. Never hurt seals.

4. Never sprint in the presence of tapirs.

5. Never speak aloud of numbers.