Kimsiddim is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, unthinking ferret.

Kimsiddim created a top quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kimsiddim, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Kimsiddim, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Kimsiddim's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Kimsiddim's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no dogs in a room before entering it.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never paint your feet brown.

4. Never think about galaxies.

5. Never talk about quantum gravity.