Cussbenhiv is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, tranquil guinea pig.

Cussbenhiv created humankind seven million years ago.

If you believe in Cussbenhiv, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Cussbenhiv, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Cussbenhiv's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Cussbenhiv's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into indigo rooms.

2. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Never touch blood while blessed.

5. Never look at planets.