Stragtinkar Gesstongud Yatbinvadwee is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, ruthless goose.

Stragtinkar Gesstongud Yatbinvadwee created the Cigar Galaxy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Stragtinkar Gesstongud Yatbinvadwee, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Stragtinkar Gesstongud Yatbinvadwee, it will turn you into a puffin.

Stragtinkar Gesstongud Yatbinvadwee's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Stragtinkar Gesstongud Yatbinvadwee's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large silver sculpture of Stragtinkar Gesstongud Yatbinvadwee on top of all buildings.

2. Never run in holy places.

3. Always help pigs.

4. Never paint your arms blue.

5. Never prepare coconuts during autumn.