Fitponnurl is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, almighty mink.

Fitponnurl created dark matter eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fitponnurl, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Fitponnurl, she will be mildly annoyed.

Fitponnurl's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Fitponnurl's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention whales.

2. Never mix cherries with ash.

3. Do not fashion tools from aluminium.

4. Do not run at rivers.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.