Witbadwabkapgepbifbap is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, self-confident zebra.

Witbadwabkapgepbifbap created the Andromeda Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Witbadwabkapgepbifbap, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Witbadwabkapgepbifbap, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Witbadwabkapgepbifbap's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Witbadwabkapgepbifbap's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from mauve ducks for they are unholy.

2. Never tolerate cries in holy places.

3. Never point your back toward the south during prayer.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Do not place melons upon stone.