Vedkoptim is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, boastful shrew.

Vedkoptim created dark energy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vedkoptim, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Vedkoptim, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Vedkoptim's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Vedkoptim's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

4. Run away if five great tits approach from the south.

5. Always help porpoises in need.