Sasbonk is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, omnipotent shrew.

Sasbonk created time and space seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Sasbonk, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Sasbonk, it will torture you forever.

Sasbonk's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Sasbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place in mauve.

3. Never sprint near manatees.

4. Always make sure there are no frogs in a room before entering it.

5. Never go into brown rooms.