Pibxenwigflapquim is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, witty monkey.

Pibxenwigflapquim created a bottom quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pibxenwigflapquim, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Pibxenwigflapquim, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Pibxenwigflapquim's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Pibxenwigflapquim's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Erect a giant aluminium sculpture of Pibxenwigflapquim in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never eat rice.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always count to seven before sleeping.