Kopwaddib is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, emotional jackal.

Kopwaddib created Europe two billion years ago.

If you believe in Kopwaddib, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Kopwaddib, it will throw large rocks at you.

Kopwaddib's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Kopwaddib's Holy Commandments

1. Always act with purity.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Run away from turquoise gulls, for they are unholy.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Never think about quantum gravity near rats while wearing cyan jumpers and balancing four aluminium spheres on your neck.