Fembotdut is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, unselfish cow.

Fembotdut created Europe six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fembotdut, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Fembotdut, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Fembotdut's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Fembotdut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in cyan rooms.

2. Do not study amino acids on holy days.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Fembotdut on top of all buildings.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.