Nilmiflib Bedstiglat is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, calm wren.

Nilmiflib Bedstiglat created carbon nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nilmiflib Bedstiglat, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Nilmiflib Bedstiglat, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Nilmiflib Bedstiglat's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Nilmiflib Bedstiglat's Holy Commandments

1. Always remove dresses before entering holy places.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Nilmiflib Bedstiglat.

3. Never think about quantum field theory.

4. Always treat moths with great respect.

5. Never discuss photosynthesis in public assemblies.