Gatbossdoglennurt is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, moody penguin.

Gatbossdoglennurt created carbon four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gatbossdoglennurt, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Gatbossdoglennurt, she will send minions to preach to you.

Gatbossdoglennurt's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Gatbossdoglennurt's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in white rooms.

2. Do not utter prayers while touching zinc.

3. Pray towards the west.

4. Never think ill of sick manatees.

5. Fast once a month.