Labsitceb is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, duplicitous ant.

Labsitceb created a Higgs boson seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Labsitceb, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Labsitceb, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Labsitceb's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Labsitceb's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill snails.

2. Hide if three bats approach from the south.

3. Feed all hungry whales.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never feed spinach to capybaras while wearing orange kilts.