Konvonk is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, conceited giraffe.

Konvonk created the Andromeda Galaxy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Konvonk, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Konvonk, it will curse you with boils.

Konvonk's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Konvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Always help dogs in need.

2. Always wash your chest before prayer.

3. Always help sick swans.

4. Never eat rice on days of mourning.

5. Never feed coconuts to snails while wearing brown shirts.