Nardamlarp is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, sapient weasel.

Nardamlarp created the Andromeda Galaxy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nardamlarp, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Nardamlarp, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Nardamlarp's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Nardamlarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never adorn your face with red markings.

2. Never remain kneeling at midnight.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always share beans with strangers, but never with badgers.

5. Remain standing during prayer.