Kabwonstik Sasparkmip is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, omniscient deer.

Kabwonstik Sasparkmip created vertebrates nine million years ago.

If you believe in Kabwonstik Sasparkmip, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Kabwonstik Sasparkmip, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Kabwonstik Sasparkmip's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Kabwonstik Sasparkmip's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant gold sculpture of Kabwonstik Sasparkmip in the centre of the settlement.

2. Never eat grapes.

3. Never skip in the presence of geese.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate frogs.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.