Tabkipbess is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, kind wasp.

Tabkipbess created the Small Magellanic Cloud six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tabkipbess, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tabkipbess, it will turn you into a hamster.

Tabkipbess' most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Tabkipbess' Holy Commandments

1. Never fashion tools from stone.

2. Never think about quantum mechanics near ducks while wearing mauve shorts and balancing five zinc spheres on your legs.

3. Never discuss the inheritance of acquired characteristics in public assemblies.

4. Never allow cats to sleep beneath your roof.

5. Never gather nine grasshopers in one place.