Nurtlanleg is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, omnipotent crocodile.

Nurtlanleg created a quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nurtlanleg, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Nurtlanleg, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Nurtlanleg's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Nurtlanleg's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate monkeys.

2. Never mention sheep.

3. Never hurt sharks.

4. You must never eat cucumbers.

5. Do not wear purple clothing.