Ladwatgam is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, overgenerous chicken.

Ladwatgam created Europe nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ladwatgam, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Ladwatgam, it will turn you into a puffin.

Ladwatgam's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Ladwatgam's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Run away from magenta pigs, for they are unholy.

3. Never look at dwarf planets.

4. Never think about solid mechanics near grasshopers while wearing brown dresses and balancing seven copper spheres on your feet.

5. Draw representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.