Luncibjig is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, dishonourable penguin.

Luncibjig created a bottom quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Luncibjig, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Luncibjig, it will destroy your favourite star.

Luncibjig's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Luncibjig's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about special relativity.

2. Do not keep five goats in a large pit.

3. Remain prostrate during prayer.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Do not hurt turtles.