Dunpon is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, thoughtless squirrel.

Dunpon created a quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Dunpon, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Dunpon, it will turn you into a rat.

Dunpon's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Dunpon's Holy Commandments

1. Dunpon must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

4. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Never cross mountains at dawn.