Larpkemmet is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, tiresome centaur.

Larpkemmet created the Sun two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Larpkemmet, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Larpkemmet, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Larpkemmet's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Larpkemmet's Holy Commandments

1. Never prepare apples during summer.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Never speak aloud of signs.

4. Do not count beyond six during ceremonies.

5. Never talk about enzymes.