Weefittaf is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, unselfish hippopotamus.

Weefittaf created a strange quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Weefittaf, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Weefittaf, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Weefittaf's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Weefittaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about stars.

2. Do not step barefoot upon magenta earth.

3. Never prepare cherries during spring.

4. Learn eight new languages a year.

5. Always check lakes for frogs.