Sawcumyar Nurlcadjig is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, deceitful mole.

Sawcumyar Nurlcadjig created humanity three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sawcumyar Nurlcadjig, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Sawcumyar Nurlcadjig, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Sawcumyar Nurlcadjig's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Sawcumyar Nurlcadjig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not study chlorophyll on holy days.

2. Never gather three ants near doors.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Do not stand on grass.