Ratmotgig is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, quiet camel.

Ratmotgig created the planet Jupiter two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ratmotgig, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Ratmotgig, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Ratmotgig's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Ratmotgig's Holy Commandments

1. Learn three new languages a year.

2. Never wear red ear rings.

3. Never point your arms toward the east during prayer.

4. Always look after injured seals.

5. Do not chop down trees.