Catfublarn Cubgargod is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, merciful swallow.

Catfublarn Cubgargod created the planet Jupiter eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Catfublarn Cubgargod, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Catfublarn Cubgargod, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Catfublarn Cubgargod's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Catfublarn Cubgargod's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick frogs.

2. Never stain your feet with purple.

3. Do not trade with those who eat nuts.

4. Never talk about gulls.

5. Never feed tomatoes to turtles while wearing blue kilts.