Pitzedham is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, caring mouse.

Pitzedham created time and space five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pitzedham, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Pitzedham, she will turn you into a puffin.

Pitzedham's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Pitzedham's Holy Commandments

1. Never pray while filled with fear.

2. Never run in the presence of ducks.

3. Do not consume coconuts at dawn.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never eat green fruit.