Febgarsis is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, unselfish gorilla.

Febgarsis created a bottom quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Febgarsis, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Febgarsis, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Febgarsis' most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Febgarsis' Holy Commandments

1. Never gather six dogs in one place.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Always help frogs in need.

4. Always make sure there are no nematodes in a room before entering it.

5. Never gather three cats near wells.