Besshitfid is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, caring centipede.

Besshitfid created a charm quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Besshitfid, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Besshitfid, she will turn you into a mole.

Besshitfid's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Besshitfid's Holy Commandments

1. Always store apples above ground.

2. Do not speak sacred words in spring.

3. Always obey Besshitfid's priests.

4. Learn four new languages a year.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.