Teendotbogrow is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, resourceful chinchilla.

Teendotbogrow created dark energy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Teendotbogrow, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Teendotbogrow, she will boil you in a big pot.

Teendotbogrow's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Teendotbogrow's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near porpoises while wearing yellow kilts.

2. Never feed lots of lemons to cats while wearing orange shorts.

3. Never feed melons to snakes while wearing ear rings.

4. Never tolerate laughter in holy places.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Teendotbogrow.