Bonktipton is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, fussy goose.

Bonktipton created energy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bonktipton, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Bonktipton, it will throw large rocks at you.

Bonktipton's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Bonktipton's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never talk about optics near snakes while wearing black shorts.

4. Do not trade with those who eat carrots.

5. Always pray immersed in water.