Vegarmrap is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, irritating snail.

Vegarmrap created the Small Magellanic Cloud nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Vegarmrap, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Vegarmrap, she will turn you into a hamster.

Vegarmrap's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Vegarmrap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Never proclaim while facing north.

3. Do not dye your hair magenta.

4. Hide if seven aardvarks approach from the east.

5. Do not consume figs at dawn.