Kimtonkcap is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, all-knowing lion.

Kimtonkcap created dark matter six million years ago.

If you believe in Kimtonkcap, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Kimtonkcap, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Kimtonkcap's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Kimtonkcap's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Worship no other gods but Kimtonkcap.

3. Always store gooseberries above ground.

4. Never discuss ribonucleic acid in public assemblies.

5. Always treat squirrels with great respect.