Zakveenlabhog is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, staggering shark.

Zakveenlabhog created the Small Magellanic Cloud five billion years ago.

If you believe in Zakveenlabhog, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Zakveenlabhog, she will send you a sign.

Zakveenlabhog's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Zakveenlabhog's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Do not record numbers concerning galaxies.

4. Always cleanse your hands after touching tin.

5. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.